There are two ways to go in an elevator: up or down. Even on Level One, there may be an L or even an LL button to press. It was 15 years ago that I was on the LL of my life. I reached a point when I had to stop and figure out how to move forward. Let me preface that statement by saying not all parts of my life were spiraling downward. I was successful in my job, and I had a beautiful home. My family loved me, and I had a loyal friend who stayed by my side. I didn’t know what Yoga was then, but I had always loved self-help books and read many. I had a solid grasp of my belief in God and Christianity; I had read the Bible from cover to cover and knew of the mystical power of the words. Despite all that going for me, I struggled with what to do next. I decided to take one year for self-reflection. Within that year, I told myself I would stay home with no big plans other than introspection for answers to my questions. I replayed my life when specific memories would pop up. I thought about the decisions and choices I made. It wasn’t long before I realized I was responsible for my suffering. Others may have contributed to the pain, but I chose to stay in the circumstances. That was a powerful recognition that changed my hopelessness to hopefulness. Why? Because I remembered my power to choose. Small decisions over time got me to that point, and the same would happen moving forward. I would pay attention to the small choices!
So, what did I want in my life? I think many of us struggle with that question. What would it look like if you could wave the magic wand and have the perfect life? My next step was to figure out what that new ideal life looked like. The latest version of my life would need to be very different from what I spent the past years envisioning. There would be no children, maybe no spouse, but something I wanted. I needed a paradigm shift in what I thought I needed for a happy, successful life. It’s easy for me to say now, but at the time, it felt like death. I realized that each decision I made in the past was about wanting love and joy in my life. That’s where I would start to rebuild. I had always supported myself through my teaching career and thought moving to higher education could be the answer. I decided to go to Salisbury University on the Eastern Shore to learn how to be a professor. At that point, I had achieved more successes in my career; I was a National Board-Certified Physical Education teacher, I had overseen every type of school committee, I had started writing grants, and I was a wellness chairperson for years at my school, but I was ready for new challenges. When I went to Salisbury University, the dean of the health and physical education department told me to get my PhD in some kind of health topic. Whether it was health, public health, or community health education, if I had my PhD, I could write my ticket to any higher ed job. I drove home thinking, “I don’t want to do that. I can’t drive to a university three times a week and do it all summer to get my PhD.” That was the summer of 2010. By December 2012, I was enrolled in a PhD in Public Health; I was confident in earning degrees and teaching. Public health was a bit out of my scope as a teacher, but it was challenging, so I knew it would be interesting. As time went on, the coursework became more intense, and I spent nights, early mornings, and weekends sitting at my computer reading research articles and writing papers. That’s when I became a morning person. For most of my teaching career, I was running late for work. Getting up early was a struggle, and I didn’t change that until I needed more time in my day. This was also around the time that I found Yoga! Remember my story of having chronic pain and finding the yoga magazine at the Physical Therapy office? That was at the same time I was deep into the PhD coursework. Did I have time to add one more thing to my schedule? I found the time! When there’s something you want to learn, you can carve out time in your schedule to do it. You may have to wake up early, or in my case, 4 AM. My desk faced east with a fantastic view of the Patuxent River leading out to the Chesapeake Bay. I watched the sunrise in the early mornings while I worked on my computer. This new habit changed my life. Check out my morning light meditation if you missed it. In Yoga, watching the sunrise connects us to nature’s cycles, welcoming the new day, aligning our body’s cycles to nature, and sparking the creative spiritual power within. I watched the day turn from darkness to light and used that time to write. After earning the title Dr. Lisa Clow, I continued to wake up early, but instead of studying, I was meditating. Yoga Sutra Chapter 2, verse 1 tells us that the activities of Yoga are self-discipline, self-study, and dedication to the Lord. Remember when I thought I couldn’t do Yoga? If you ever thought you couldn’t, I hope this post has awakened a spark in you to try it!
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January 2025
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